*Cues in horror film sound*

Behold! Where can you find a shadow that does not melt into the air in the presence of bright white lights and shining white coats? The hospital!!! Of course, you can find students shadowing professionals in another field. But have you heard the story of a shadowing premedical student? Please, grab a popcorn.

Understandably, shadowing a physician is a recommended requirement for many premedical students. Medical schools want to make sure that we are not caught up in the fantasies of medical Tv shows or with the idea of being a doctor itself. Also, shadowing a physician, for those who are not working in the medical field, could serve as a period of clarity for students who are unsure of their career path. My only exposure to the world of medicine is through physicians. It has become a hobby for me because I could vicariously diagnose a patient, write prescriptions, and operate on patients through shadowing physicians. It is an exciting experience, but being a shadow has its own awkward moments.

For example, as I strode down the hallways of the hospital like a hero following my physician, I felt a stream of power flow through my veins until I step into the examination room. Upon entry, I retreat into the farthest yet close enough corner to watch the physician-patient interaction unfold. If there was emotional music in the background, it would have seemed like a real-world Greys Anatomy in play. I get introduced in a number of ways: “ This is my medical student.”, “She is a future doctor in the making.” ,“She is my student for today.” Even when I am introduced as a premedical student, the “pre” somehow escapes into thin air. As the physician types up patients’ history, locking eyes with the computer, patients lock their eyes with me while narrating their history. I smile, nod, and make all sort of soothing facial expressions to show the patient that I care. In the abyss of my mind, a voice whispers, “You are not a doctor.” You see the white coat is pure magic! (I was wearing my white lab coat).

As a shadow, calculating what time to emerge from being invisible to voice out my questions or to make a request becomes a hefty task. The tug of war between being considerate and being inquisitive is almost never-ending. So, I raise my questions only after keenly observing the four dimensions of space to avoid disrupting the physician.

Also, the shadow dreads being left in a room with a patient. At that moment, all kinds of stories pour out, leaving the shadow drenched in a rain of confusion. Below is an example of some conversations that ensue:

Shadow: “Ma’am, I am just a student. The physician would be back shortly.”

Patient: “But do you think I still have cancer?” “I cannot afford that medicine.” “My eyes are red, aren’t they?”

Shadow: “I’ll go check on the physician on your behalf, okay?”

As the door cracks open, the shadow resumes breathing.

Shadowing physicians is a wonderful experience. It allows one to absorb a wealth of knowledge while reflecting on the lessons learned simultaneously. It is incredible how the mere observation of a physician could sow seeds of motivation in one’s mind. I remember shadowing in the OR while studying for my MCAT in the summer. The amount of drive I gained during that period stayed with me throughout my fall semester when I took only upper-level science courses. Shadowing literally means being a shadow. But, you can amass mounds of treasure while you stand in that corner by gathering patients stories and physicians’ actions and weaving it into your own peculiar story of why medicine.

Do you have any specific shadowing moment you would love to share with us? Drop a comment down below!

PS: this account does not singly depict the experience of all premedical students.

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