Dead last place again!

It was so tough. Track meet after track meet, my 4 x 400 meter men’s relay team was terrible. Making things worse, I was the anchor. The anchor who was just receiving the baton pretty much when everyone else was crossing the finish line. This meant I was the lone soul running around the track. There was dead silence as I turned the corners, watching my shadow on the track stretch and shrink. I could hear my thoughts and unfortunately they weren’t too pleasant. What was the point running by myself? I still remember convincing myself not to walk off the track. This was especially hard not to do the time when they forgot I was still completing the race and began the next event. And then… like clockwork, I reach the final turn and the cheers of pity came. 

I have had my fair share of failures but this was a special kind. On my own, I was quite athletic but here I wasn’t even given the chance to succeed. Everyone had a 300 meter head start on me. I was used to excelling in academics and other extracurricular activities but this really got me. Many of you may feel the same way. You may have started 10 steps behind the rest of the pack due to your lack of resources, race/ethnicity, gender, appearance, poor health, mental disability, or lack of guidance and this may not allow you a fair opportunity.

One thing I can guarantee you is that failure will come. I have learned so much from my experience during that track season. Failure can provide the best lessons in life.

1. It’s Okay to Hurt

Let it soak in. I know it sucks. It really sucks but you need to take time to heal, regroup and re-evaluate things. Think through what the barriers were that kept you from being successful and formulate a plan to conquer them. Sometimes, you need to be alone for a few days but don’t get too caught in your feelings. You are not the first person to go through this and you won’t be the last.

2. It Magnifies Character

We all know that person who throws a temper tantrum when they are losing. Some quit so they never have the opportunity to fail. There are others who exhibit the Mike Tyson complex by biting their opponent in anger. Are you the type that loses the game and refuses to shake your opponent’s hands or do you graciously accept defeat and thank them for a great game? Every time I ran around the track on my “run of shame”, I had the opportunity to stop trying, fake an injury, yell at my teammates, blame others or quit on the spot but I knew this would only hurt me in the long run.

3. It Shows Your True Friends

There are few times when friends can really show you who they really are. It’s all good for friends to show up for your marriage, graduation or other happy occasion but those who are there for you after you’ve lost a loved one or failed to matriculate into medical school are the keepers. No one likes to be around sad people but they will be there if you are special to them. However, everyone has their own life so don’t be quick to judge those who weren’t there.

4. It Teaches You to Empathize

Understanding the pain that comes with failure allows you to empathize and have compassion for others. As I heard the pity claps during my relay, I started with embarrassment which progressed to anger and finally appreciation as my teammates and coaches waited at the finish line. I could see that they had been there before. They knew what it felt like to fail and through that were able to empathize. One who has never failed is more likely to be a bad sport after winning a match.

5. It Allows Progress

Babies fall over and over before they can walk. We often see the final product glorified but the process getting there is too often omitted. There is no human being on this planet who hasn’t failed and I’d go as far as to say that the most successful individuals have failed the most. In order to be successful you need to take big risks and with big risks there are more opportunities to fail and to fail hard. These failures if used correctly, allow one to grow and improve themselves or their product. Failing and getting back up shows just how committed and passionate you are. 

Do you have lessons learned from failure?

Here are some notable quotes:

“I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”      -Michael Jordan

“You might never fail on the scale I did. But it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.”      -J.K. Rowling

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”     -Winston Churchill

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”     -Henry Ford

“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”     -Thomas Edison   

“Our greatest fear should not be failure… but of succeeding in things in life that don’t really matter.”     -Francis Chan

Are you a premed? Join Diverse Medicine now. It's free!